A Monkey’s Tale

**REXANO** · Site Admin Joined: 13 Dec 2007 Posts: 405

http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080305/OPINION0526/80305007/-1/OPINION

A Monkey’s Tale
By Lily Robertson

March 05, 2008 10:07 AM

In Spokane, Washington, the streets are now monkey-free thanks to the efforts of Spokanimal. (Monkey in Custody Article) It seems last Friday, a whopping fifteen pounds of cranky simian terrorized both locals and a visiting French student. No word has been heard yet from the French Government, but they’re certain to either boycott Curious George, organize an underground exotic pet resistance, or surrender. I anticipate the Louvre crating all Rousseau paintings for the duration.

People. Really. It’s a spider monkey, for cryin out loud. We aren’t talking about a rabid orangutan, here. We’re talking about something that barely reaches twenty inches in height. ((Spider Monkey Facts)) My columns are rarely twenty inches tall. My great uncle had a spider monkey that got outwitted by a bloody parrot. And yet, the local animal constabulary has seen fit to take the monkey into custody and quarantine it while they decide its fate. One poor little monkey could quite possibly be assassinated just because it was smart enough to open a door.

Sure, it bit three people. Lots of people have suddenly been thrust into strange surroundings, become disoriented, and wanted to bite people. As a rule, most people don’t. On the other hand, talk to any preschool teacher and they’ll tell you that toddlers do. Should we put down the toddlers? (I refuse to admit how long it took me to decide to type, “No, that would be wrong.”)

Another part of the problem is that Washington is against owning monkeys. What is the problem with small, usually manageable, exotic pets? I’ve been menaced by more Jack Russell Terriers (or whatever they changed their name to a few years back), than monkeys.

So the monkey got out. I once had an escape artist coonhound that would leave that monkey in the dust when it came to getting loose. There was a very sweet pit bull down my street that used to dig her way out of her yard, and then wait on my porch so I could walk her home because she couldn’t ring her own doorbell, what with being a dog and all. Nobody complained about either of those dogs. I can understand not wanting people to have Bengal Tigers in their back yards, but spider monkeys in the house? Get over it.

I’d like to also point out that the owners of this particular monkey stepped right up to the plate when they found out their beloved pet had made a break for it while they were at work. Further, they immediately supplied full medical and immunization records for their monkey. More domestic pet owners should be so responsible.

I think the state of Washington needs a mental margarita break. I also firmly believe if you’re going to say a certain sort of animal isn’t allowed in your state, you ought to put the information up somewhere that’s easily accessible. I searched my eyes out on the web looking for regulations on exotic pets in Washington and the best I could come up with were a few bill proposals that were clearly outdated, and no mention of whether or not they’d gotten passed. Put the information on the State Capitol site. Give it a drop down menu. I’d rather know what I could bring into the state than how many apples per capita are grown and exported.

“Hello, and welcome to the State of Washington. Check your monkey at the border.”

Until you do that, oh lovely State of Washington, let my monkeys go!
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Cynthia · Joined: 21 Dec 2007 Posts: 26

I think she meant squirrel monkey!